toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
