im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
