what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
