Your mouth is God's brothel.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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