I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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