nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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