wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
