Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
