now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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