Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?