S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my nose is crying tears of wow.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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