You surviving the open bar?
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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