i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
