You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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