soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
