just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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