mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
