Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
