careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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