I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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