so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
