I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
