i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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