there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
