Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
