why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
