wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
