this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
