HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize