you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
