I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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