I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
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I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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