its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
