This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
