I murdered the dance floor call the cops
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
