I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
