all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
