Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
