i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize