The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
