Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
