Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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