I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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