Soap is not a condiment
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
