no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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