I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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