drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
