So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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