Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
