Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
