girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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