oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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