i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
