I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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