I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
