dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Randomize
