sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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