i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
