I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So many bounce houses so little time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
