im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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