Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
